I know it has been a few months but every once in a while it hits me fresh that he is gone. I still pick up the phone to call him. I still see him in dreams, often. I still start crying out of nowhere, when I realize anew that he is never coming back. How long before I will start to heal? How long before I can cope? God Will, I miss you so damn much. I wish you could be here to hug your son. I wish Mason could know you. I didn't realize how much I took having you here for granted. I want you back with us.